While this term has been used to refer to something which is “hard to remove oneself from”, it has long been recognized as a derogatory term for black Americans. It is something that Amor is all too familiar with. The commonly used term “tar squares” is used when building an Amor house which can best be describeD as a small black square of roofing paper with a nail running through it. It is used to hold the long sheets of tar paper on the side of an Amor house that provides the backing needed to support the wet stucco when it is applied.

Long ago it was a common thing to hear someone ask for or ask someone to make more “tar babies.” But as time passed we became well aware that this was offensive in many cultures so we specifically eliminated and requested others to eliminate the use of this phrase. Thus, “tar squares” has become the appropriately acceptable way to describe this product.

A great description of how to make a “tar square” is in our latest “House Building Manual”:

I find it quite interesting that something as insignificant as a small black square could have such offending power if described or used inappropriately. Recently when I was helping build a home at the San Carlos Apache Reservation I was reminded that the Apache are generally a very gentle culture compared to your mainstream American. They aren’t generally comfortable looking you in the eyes and their handshakes tend to be very gentle and relaxed. This is quite contrary to how I was raised to interact with people – “a strong, firm handshake and look them in the eyes, son!” Even something as simple as a hand shake or eye contact can offend someone from another culture.

Its perhaps one of the greatest challenges of short term missions. How do we serve those we have been called to or sent to help and understand their culture in a very short time, with the hope of reducing or simply not offending them – when we are doing our best to love and serve them? Its why many missionaries around the world cringe at the thought of short term [visitors] coming to serve with the very people they have served and patiently learned to understand their culture and their ways.

I would highly recommend anyone interested in this challenge to read one of my favorite books on this subject, “When Helping Hurts” by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert. I would also recommend you visit their website at www.whenhelpinghurts.org and definitely check out the “Video and Audio Interviews with the Authors” under the “About The Book” tab.

A good reminder, if there ever was one, is to follow the words of Paul from Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

To download the higher definition version of this video, click this link: USC Mexico 2010

USC Athletes in Action building a home for a very needy family in Tijuana, Mexico.

I had the pleasure of spending some time with the USC Athletes in Action team that came to Tijuana, Mexico for three days to build a house for the Nava family.  Some 15 student athletes and a couple good friends from Los Angeles joined together to help a family who were deeply touched by the  love and enthusiasm of their new friends.  The Nava family live on approximately $84 a week as Roman and Marcella Nava take turns selling tacos.   They have three children, Elizet, Jovan, and Christian. They have had to wait two years to get a new home.  “We are eternally grateful to God for you” said Roman. I was so proud to see this group of young people put in so much effort and care into their work.  Well done!

USC kicker, Joe Houston, and Amor Ministries co-founder, Gayla Congdon, watch home building.

Bret Marks puts some hammer to the roof.

Ashley Nicks makes a roof!

Jack and Mark Clayman take a break to discuss construction strategy.

Duron, Bret, Jordan, and Joe admire their work with the city view behind them.

As their new home is being built, Jovan and Christian, entertain themselves.

Football and soccer players from USC changing a family's life forever.

USC Athletes in Action and Amor Ministries partnered to make a difference.

A season of change for a very needy family.

Father and son, Roman and Christian Nava, enjoying the reality of a new home.