Its one of the greatest mysteries  to me how the poorest of the poor, of whom millions spend their youth without a home, without any sort of decent shelter, and who have gone to bed at night hungry more times than they can recall.  How does a young person grow up in such lack and have any kind of chance of carving out a healthy, meaningful, crime free life?

Recently a great tragedy be-felled a white South African farmer and the 15-year-old co-accused in his murder. The murder itself has shocked millions of South Africans but the admission by the accused, that life is better in prison than outside is a startling indictment how life, society, and government are failing such marginalized people.  The accused said he was happy and had not even been asked to be released on bail because he had three meals a day, his own bed, and can watch television- all for the for the first time in his life.

After having dropped out of school at the age 14, he is attending school again.  He left school originally to start tending for the murdered farmer for reported wages of sixty six dollars a month.  He had taken this job in order to help support his family and look after himself.  He lived in the cattle corral of his employer in conditions that I can only assume were lacking even the basic necessities.

“That prison should be a better alternative to his everyday life raised loud alarm bells about whether a jail sentence is enough deterrent to would-be criminals,” wrote a South African journalist.  What chance do kids have in a world where life behind prison bars will protect him better from the reality of his miserable existence.

“There is no object of desire quite like a house,” writes Meghan Daum, a columnist for the Los Angeles Times. “Few things in this world are capable of eliciting such urgent, even painful, yearning. Few sentiments are at once as honest and as absurd as the one that moves us to declare: ‘Life would be perfect if I lived in that house.’”  What a timely sentiment of how most people in the world think of what the ‘perfect house’ would or should be like. After all, it’s the American dream…to own a home.

Perhaps more meaningful for a youngster accused of murder in a  South African prison cell tonight would be to re-quote Ms. Daum’s last sentence, but add one small caveat, “Life would be perfect if I lived in ‘A’ house.”

Amor builds homes to keep families together.  Amor serves the poorest of the poor to share the love of Christ.  Amor helps keep kids out of prison.  I won’t ever take this for granted.  I hope you don’t either.

        Teachable Moments

It was a rough night fraught with nightmares, and I got very little sleep. 1 don’t know if this happens only to me but it appears that whenever I eat ‘garri’ in any form before bed – which doesn’t happen often, I sleep very badly and have nightmares. Seriously. Last night was no exception.

I woke up really grumpy, but my sour disposition didn’t last for long. Unknown to me, there was an email from an inter­esting reader waiting on my blackberry that would have me laughing tears for an hour – almost non stop.

Here is the email in its entirety:

Abiola,

I always enjoy reading your articles in the Business Day (Nigeria). You hit a sensitive cord in your article entitled, "The Trusted Advisor" on April 20.

As I read your description of the "trust exercise" you brought back memories of the last time I had this experience. l was at a team building exercise with the leadership of our church. I was chosen as the "faller" and our senior pastor was picked at the "catcher." I had nothing but respect and trust for our senior pastor and barely hesitated to fall back into his caring arms. Unfortunately his arms weren’t ready for me. Either he was distracted or our timing was just completely off, but I landed straight on my behind and back with a loud thud. We were all shocked, especially me. Man did that hurt. To which our senior pastor replied, "It is better to trust in the Lord than put confidence in man.”

I am all for the applications of the "trust exercise." That being said, you might want to make sure that you have a backup plan incase what you hoped for doesn’t come about. From now on I would prefer taking the "fall" outside on the grass rather than a hard wood church floor. Love your articles. Keep up the great work!

Respectfully submitted, Scotty

There is only so much one can dis­cuss in a 800 word article (that’s about my weekly average) and I must admit my focus was on communicating a point. Scotty’s story is essentially the balance to my message which is that, as life happens, not everything goes according to plan. It is prudent to have a back-up plan. A plan B if you will. But that is not the only thing I like about Scotty’s email. One of the phrases I picked up at a Learning conference in January is ‘teachable moment’. By definition, a teachable moment is an unplanned opportunity that arises in the [classroom] where a teacher has an ideal chance to offer insight to his or her students.

A teachable moment is not some­thing that you can plan for; rather, it is a fleeting opportunity that must be sensed and seized by the teacher.  Often it will re­quire a brief digression that temporarily sidetracks the original lesson plan so that the teacher can explain a concept that has inadvertently captured the students’ collective interest.

Taking this tangent is worthwhile be­cause it is organically timed to maximize impact on the students. Ultimately, the teachable moment could evolve into a full-blown lesson plan or unit of instruc­tion. Scotty’s senior pastor recognized this opportunity for a teachable moment that was both a great comeback, and a powerful communication of a funda­mental Christian truth. I don’t think anyone at that meeting who saw and heard the impact of Scotty’s fall would ever forget that lesson!

Another lesson I would like to tease out from the email is based on the comment, "From now on I would prefer taking the “fall" outside on the grass rather than a hard wood church floor." Sometimes, things don’t go according to plan and we lose something – a business opportunity, money, self-respect, a few teeth –  what­ever. There is something I believe is more powerful than resignation. It is the ability to say to oneself," okay, that didn’t work, and this was why. Next time…"It’s the mindset that sees life experiences as a series of lessons and gets better with each iteration.

It is the mindset that does not keep doing the same things and expecting dif­ferent results. I think someone said that is the definition of insanity. Speaking of which, now that I have clearly identified the nightmare-inducing food in my diet, I should completely eliminate ‘garri’ from my dinner menu shouldn’t I?

A final word to the skeptics out them who think this story is too perfect, I didn’t make Scotty up! He is the Founder/CEO of Amor Ministries in San Diego, California, do­ing great work budding homes for the needy in Mexico (for 30 years) and South Africa (for 2 years) through volunteers giving their time. You can check them out at www.amor org and www.simplyscott.org.

Dear Abiola,
I always enjoy reading your articles in the Business Day(Nigeria). You hit a sensitive cord in your article entitled, “The Trusted Advisor” on April 20.

As I read your description of the “trust exercise” you brought back memories of the last time I had this experience. I was at a team building exercise with the leadership of our church. I was chosen as the “faller” and our senior pastor was picked at the “catcher.” I had nothing but respect and trust for our senior pastor and barely hesitated to fall back into his caring arms. Unfortunately his arms weren’t ready for me. Either he was distracted or our timing was just completely off, but I landed straight on my behind and back with a loud thud. We were all shocked, especially me. Man did that hurt. To which our senior pastor replied, “It is better to trust in the Lord than put confidence in man.”

I am all for the applications of the “trust exercise.” That being said, you might want to make sure that you have a backup plan in case what you hoped for doesn’t come about. From now on I would prefer taking the “fall” outside on the grass rather than a hard wood church floor. Food for thought.

Love your articles. Keep up the great work!

Respectfully submitted,
Scotty

Abiola Adeoju writes regularly for the Business Day(Nigeria). She is a learning consultant and a fellow of the Institute of Training and Occupational Learning, UK. She can be reached at mail@abiola.org. www.businessdayonline.com.